Sleep to Wake/Wake to Sleep
Every night for the last week I have been having some very vivid dreams. The weird thing is that I don’t think they’re mine. See, in these dreams, I am in a place I have never been before, and speaking with people I have never met. While in these dreams I am familiar with my surroundings, Who I am with, where I am, where I am going and how to get there are as familiar to me as driving to the corner store. The people I am speaking with are friends and family, only they are not MY friends or MY family. The things we speak about are personal to me and them, yet when I wake, I am completely ignorant to what or who we were speaking about. It’s as if i am both, a character in a movie and the person in theater watching the movie. It has been disturbing to say the least.
I usually wake once or twice throughout the night to use the restroom( I know, I’m hitting that age.) but during this week I have been sleeping very heavily not waking at all until my alarm goes off and I noticed that my jaw has been very sore when I wake up. I can only assume that I am clenching my teeth while I am asleep. I have also been plagued with tightness and spasms of the back. I am not sure if all this is related.
This recent month has not been a good one for me. My father passed away in the middle of February and I had my entire family come in from out of town and stay with my family and I all under one roof. My old man and I have not had a good relationship in decades and our exchanges had always been formal, still, I have been having a harder time than I thought I would have had with this. It wasn’t an onslaught of emotion like it was for my siblings. Mine has been more introverted. I have not really cried too much, but have been very deep in thought.
I have read that the mind can do some pretty fantastic things when under extreme stress and I wonder if I am either having past life memories, outer body experiences or if I am tapping into someone else’s consciousness. The thing I hate the most is that I can barely remember anything about the dreams after I wake. It is literally like I am living two lives; one asleep, and one awake. What’s interesting is that in my dream life, I have no memory of my wake life. I continue on as if that is my real life. I remember during my drug days, many years ago now, that I would have "Lucid Dreams" where it would leave me in a different state of consciousness and it was hard for me to determine if I was asleep or awake. This is slightly different though. With this, while i am within each life, I can not determine which one is the real one, at least, not until I wake....
It makes one wonder if what I consider to be my wake life is actually the dream life and I am only waiting to wake when I sleep.....
Don't be afraid.
That ringing you hear in your ears is just a bit of ...